Both of these photos were taken at the The Flower Fields in Carlsbad and were taken on my iPhone! We did a full shoot of this yoga outfit (that my hair is hiding 😉 that will be coming to the site tomorrow. <3
Today I wanted to talk about something that came to my heart spur of the moment! I’ve found that sometimes, blog posts like this are my favorite to write (so far) because they pop into my head and I get to pour my whole heart into them, very spur of the moment and on a whim!
So, here we go! Today we’re chatting about being an “introverted extrovert.” You might be thinking, what exactly is an introverted extrovert? Isn’t someone either an introvert or an extrovert? Well, that’s also what I thought for a good portion of my life growing up. I always have been a very outgoing person, who loves to meet new people and be involved with lots of activities, so I went most of my life thinking I was an extrovert. MAN, was I wrong!
My second year of college, I moved into a sorority house with about 40 (I think?) other girls where I had very little alone time and time to myself. I found myself without much space to be alone which, for many people is totally fine. However, I found that it REALLY took a toll on me. This isn’t because I didn’t love being around my friends, but because I realized I’m the kind of person who NEEDS alone time or I start to feel extremely drained, exhausted, and overall just not “myself.” I learned that in order for me to be my best self and be fully present to those around me, I 1000% need to have that “me time” where I’m completely alone and can recharge, connect with God, be focused and centered, and meditate. I learned this all the hard way, by depleting myself of all these things and getting to a place where I felt that I had almost lost myself. My hope is that this post can help you if you are starting to learn this about yourself and want to make changes sooner rather than later.
I love being social and around people but in order to want to socialize and participate in group activities, and be in groups, it’s essential for me to create the space in my life to have time to myself. If this sounds like you, I wanted to put together some steps I’ve implemented in my own life that have drastically helped to maintain balance.
- Morning Prayer/ Meditation
Did you know that how you start the day ultimately sets the tone for the entire day? For years, I would jump out of bed and stare right at my phone which would automatically spike my cortisol levels and create a stressful start to the day. Now, I try and start the morning as slowly as I can. I sit on the couch with a cup of Bullet Proof Coffee and write in my gratitude journal, read Jesus Calling, meditate, repeat prayers and affirmations, and take about 20 minutes to center myself and feel grateful for the day. I change it up and do what feels good on any particular day and resist the urge to look directly at my phone upon waking!
2. IT’S OKAY to Say NO to Functions
This might sound simple, but giving yourself the permission to say “no” or to cancel social functions if you are feeling drained and depleted is okay! In fact, I think it’s much better to stay in and allow yourself to rest and recharge rather than force yourself to go out to the dinner/ party/ event/ coffee date/ etc. It seems challenging at first, but I’ve found that if you are honest with friends about needing “alone time” they will understand. Some of my closest friends are extroverts who don’t need alone time but still allow me my space and recharge time when I need it.
3. Take 24 Hours!
This one has been a HUGE learning experience for me. A few months ago a friend suggested to me to take 24 hours before making any commitment, to anything. I’m the kind of person who automatically responds an enthusiastic “yes” when a friend or someone I know asks me to get together, go on a trip, or literally do anything. I’m an “overcommitter,” which has been one of the main things I’ve had to learn to manage as an introverted extrovert. What would happen to me was I would find myself exhausted and spread SO thin because I said yes to everyone asking me to do things. I never wanted to hurt feelings and genuinely love spending time with people. However, I’m a huge GRUMP if I don’t have my introvert time so I’ve been really trying to take 24 hours before committing to something. I’m still working on it but have found it to be extremely helpful thus far.
4. Your Idea Of A “Perfect Night” Might Be Different Than Other People Your Age
This one couldn’t be ANY more true! After years of going out to crowded bars, going to Vegas, going to music festivals, etc. I thought WHY do I always commit to going to these places with huge enormous crowds of people that don’t make me happy!? I would so much rather spend time out in the daytime going to the beach, hiking, biking, getting coffee with friends, hanging out one-on-one with friends, exploring new places, wine tasting, the list goes on. Before I learned this about myself and accepted it, I would commit to these activities that would leave me feeling drained and anxious because I didn’t want to let my friends down. Now, I’ve realized that my idea of “fun” might be different than other people my age, and I accept this about myself! Often times, my favorite way to spend a night is staying in with a glass of wine and a good book, practicing yoga, and getting into bed at 9pm to read. That might not be typical for a 24 year old, but that’s what feels best to me. : )
Introverted extroverts, does any of this resonate with you? What are your tips for maintaining balance in these areas of life?
I would love to hear!!
Talk soon <3